Spring Breaks!

As in "Morning Breaks upon the Hill".
That is how I felt today when the Sun finally decided to shine again. The lovely day was a gift, that is certain. The Flowers are breaking through the soil again. They are such a wonderful, welcome sight. The rains and storms of earlier have given way, or broken to let the Spring begin, or break through the clouds. What a lovely thought that is. What a gorgeous day today was, such a gift! We were able to be out in it also, that is another "break". We went to town to find the few Garage Sales that are now starting again. I found a few treasures there, two CDs. They will be put to much use as I walk ever faster on my walking route. I will have to begin to write down my miles again. I took a short break from it for various reasons. I was burned out from walking on the Eliptical. I wanted Spring so much that I could no longer bear to work out on my machine in the dark, cool spare room. Yes, I realize it was a mental block, but a good one. Now I am once again "out there". It feels so good to get the blood moving again.
We also had our first grilled Hamburgers tonight when I returned from my almost 3 mile walk. I did not want to stop walking, but alas, my Body did! I have recently had yet another Birthday. This is One I have celebrated more than any other since my Birth 56 years ago. You see, this year, I am GLAD to still be alive! With the Health problems I have been facing, it is so good just to celebrate LIFE!....
I also chose to forget the Cake. No sense having it around to tempt me after my special day was over. I had a slice of Cake at Applebee's and that was just enough to make me happy.

Hopefully now, the medicine is under control. I had a frustrating day chasing from Pharmacy to Pharmacy to aquire my newest prescription. My Surgeon increased my dosage on my new medicine. She said one spell was one spell to many. I now feel like an old person in that I am taking 6 pills in the morning and 1 at night. 2 Blood pressure, 1 Heart, 1 Water, 1 Mood, 1 Vitamin. I guess I should be happy in that we found out about my problems before they became critical, or I died. I should have known but boy does denial work well. How could it be otherwise when I was so heavy most of my Life, I didn't exercise enough, and I did not eat for Healthful purpose.
See what I mean about choices? Finally I see! I had blinders on for way too many years.

Live and Learn they say. I could have DIED and my Family had to learn upon losing me. Now my children are doing everything they can to improve their own Health. Guess we all had a real wake up call this time. It is nice to see Family members learn from my mistakes. It feels wonderful just to wake up in the morning. You see, with my Heart problems, I could have just gone to sleep and died during it. Some have...many more than anyone will ever know I am sure.

I have printed out a saying to put in two places. One here on my Computer monitor, the other on my Fridge. It changed my Life one step at a time. I put the messages there when I began this Weight Loss Journey several years ago. I have to credit Oprah and Dr. Phil first of all. From watching others succeed on their shows and websites, I finally began the effort for the last time. Finally I realize I AM WORTH IT. No matter what the cost, I will continue to lose and get healthier. There are 4 other people I must give credit to as well.
The first is my Dearest Mother who's illness and Death jump started me. My Grandson Tyler who as a baby made me realize that I wanted to live to see him grow up.
My Lovely, Sweet, Caring Niece Carla who was there when I needed support when I was almost ready to give up for the 21st time. Last but not least, ME. I at last know
that I am worth fixing. No matter what caused the bent me...I knew deep down inside that no one else could take charge and care enough to save me BUT me.
Also it goes without saying that the members of my Weight Loss Group have been there with tips and hugs since last June. Christy Meyer has been the best Leader I have ever had. She always knows just what I need to hear to succeed one more week. Even when I was faultering, she never gave up. The other members were there for me also. I always have felt so at home with this group. We are becoming a true Family, each helping the other when the encouragement is needed. I will be a member a year this coming June. I know that even if I do not make it to goal by then, that it is only a matter of time until I do. I decided before I walked in that door this time, there were not any excuses to fail this time. I have to do it for good, forever, and for my Family, and lastly for ME.

Spring is a time of renewal, a chance for a new start. It feels so good to get out there and see the Flowers and Grass become green again. The air is taking on a fresh smell again. All is well. Time to heal begins again. Never give up on yourself. The only person who can truly love you is you. You have to begin to like yourself just as you are now, before you can learn to love yourself. It has taken me a very long time to stop beating myself up for things that I had no control over. I can control the food going into my body at last. I am stopping to smell the Flowers instead of eating every food that I could find.

When I finally admitted to myself that what I was doing was a slow way to die, I woke up and decided to begin to Live my Second Life. The one I have always hidden from.

So, I will end this article with a wish for all reading this. Take time to care for yourself. If you don't begin to put yourself first, no one else ever will either.

HUG yourself every day. I do. It may seem a silly thing to do, but it really does feel remarkable. Now I do it without worrying what anyone else will think.

Have a good week, see you soon when the writing bug strikes again. It seems to be doing so often now.

ByeBye for now,
Katie