As in "Morning Breaks upon the Hill".
That is how I felt today when the Sun finally decided to shine again. The lovely day was a gift, that is certain. The Flowers are breaking through the soil again. They are such a wonderful, welcome sight. The rains and storms of earlier have given way, or broken to let the Spring begin, or break through the clouds. What a lovely thought that is. What a gorgeous day today was, such a gift! We were able to be out in it also, that is another "break". We went to town to find the few Garage Sales that are now starting again. I found a few treasures there, two CDs. They will be put to much use as I walk ever faster on my walking route. I will have to begin to write down my miles again. I took a short break from it for various reasons. I was burned out from walking on the Eliptical. I wanted Spring so much that I could no longer bear to work out on my machine in the dark, cool spare room. Yes, I realize it was a mental block, but a good one. Now I am once again "out there". It feels so good to get the blood moving again.
We also had our first grilled Hamburgers tonight when I returned from my almost 3 mile walk. I did not want to stop walking, but alas, my Body did! I have recently had yet another Birthday. This is One I have celebrated more than any other since my Birth 56 years ago. You see, this year, I am GLAD to still be alive! With the Health problems I have been facing, it is so good just to celebrate LIFE!....
I also chose to forget the Cake. No sense having it around to tempt me after my special day was over. I had a slice of Cake at Applebee's and that was just enough to make me happy.
Hopefully now, the medicine is under control. I had a frustrating day chasing from Pharmacy to Pharmacy to aquire my newest prescription. My Surgeon increased my dosage on my new medicine. She said one spell was one spell to many. I now feel like an old person in that I am taking 6 pills in the morning and 1 at night. 2 Blood pressure, 1 Heart, 1 Water, 1 Mood, 1 Vitamin. I guess I should be happy in that we found out about my problems before they became critical, or I died. I should have known but boy does denial work well. How could it be otherwise when I was so heavy most of my Life, I didn't exercise enough, and I did not eat for Healthful purpose.
See what I mean about choices? Finally I see! I had blinders on for way too many years.
Live and Learn they say. I could have DIED and my Family had to learn upon losing me. Now my children are doing everything they can to improve their own Health. Guess we all had a real wake up call this time. It is nice to see Family members learn from my mistakes. It feels wonderful just to wake up in the morning. You see, with my Heart problems, I could have just gone to sleep and died during it. Some have...many more than anyone will ever know I am sure.
I have printed out a saying to put in two places. One here on my Computer monitor, the other on my Fridge. It changed my Life one step at a time. I put the messages there when I began this Weight Loss Journey several years ago. I have to credit Oprah and Dr. Phil first of all. From watching others succeed on their shows and websites, I finally began the effort for the last time. Finally I realize I AM WORTH IT. No matter what the cost, I will continue to lose and get healthier. There are 4 other people I must give credit to as well.
The first is my Dearest Mother who's illness and Death jump started me. My Grandson Tyler who as a baby made me realize that I wanted to live to see him grow up.
My Lovely, Sweet, Caring Niece Carla who was there when I needed support when I was almost ready to give up for the 21st time. Last but not least, ME. I at last know
that I am worth fixing. No matter what caused the bent me...I knew deep down inside that no one else could take charge and care enough to save me BUT me.
Also it goes without saying that the members of my Weight Loss Group have been there with tips and hugs since last June. Christy Meyer has been the best Leader I have ever had. She always knows just what I need to hear to succeed one more week. Even when I was faultering, she never gave up. The other members were there for me also. I always have felt so at home with this group. We are becoming a true Family, each helping the other when the encouragement is needed. I will be a member a year this coming June. I know that even if I do not make it to goal by then, that it is only a matter of time until I do. I decided before I walked in that door this time, there were not any excuses to fail this time. I have to do it for good, forever, and for my Family, and lastly for ME.
Spring is a time of renewal, a chance for a new start. It feels so good to get out there and see the Flowers and Grass become green again. The air is taking on a fresh smell again. All is well. Time to heal begins again. Never give up on yourself. The only person who can truly love you is you. You have to begin to like yourself just as you are now, before you can learn to love yourself. It has taken me a very long time to stop beating myself up for things that I had no control over. I can control the food going into my body at last. I am stopping to smell the Flowers instead of eating every food that I could find.
When I finally admitted to myself that what I was doing was a slow way to die, I woke up and decided to begin to Live my Second Life. The one I have always hidden from.
So, I will end this article with a wish for all reading this. Take time to care for yourself. If you don't begin to put yourself first, no one else ever will either.
HUG yourself every day. I do. It may seem a silly thing to do, but it really does feel remarkable. Now I do it without worrying what anyone else will think.
Have a good week, see you soon when the writing bug strikes again. It seems to be doing so often now.
ByeBye for now,
Katie
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Spring Anew!
The First Day of Spring!
This year, as in others I am sure, Spring decided to arrive
in her winter coat!
She came in with Fur and Muff and High boots...like a Fancy Lady
all Decked out for a Winter Party.
She danced in and around and around and twirled and flounced
and bounded across the States of the Midwest like She owned them
(as you know, she does).
For 2 days now She has darted and weaved and blown from here
to there and back home again doing what Mother Nature and Spring
are so very good at doing.
She messed up and covered up and laid moisture where it was well
needed in a way that she has not done since the start of this
Winter last year.
Lucky for us, we planned on staying in just in case such a
thing happened.
Though we were only supposed to get a covering to about an inch,
the dear Mother decided to show those Weather Navens a thing or
two and to remind us that Computers can only give an estimated
track and arrival. They still miss once in a while....this too
is Mother Nature's Whim.
(Isn't she Grand? I am glad she can still fool us!)
St. Patrick's Day is just past and we had not had very much
accumulation of snow all winter. We have been lucky in this
area of the state in that we have gotten
more rain than snow.
I have to admit how pretty things are, and how nicely the
snow came down.
It was a pretty snow, a heavy snow, and a very wet moist snow.
The kind that makes sloppy wet snowmen and Snowsuits get
drenched in and Mittens won't stay dry in.
But, Oh what fun it can be if one does not have to
get out and travel in it!
This will also give us something to remember as Spring stops
teasing us and finally arrives. May She soon shed that Coat
and let us see her in all her Spring Glory!
The Robins are back and I bet they are going "What the?" right
about now.
The tulips are up about 2 inches, so Spring cannot be far behind.
We will have double again the tulips we had Spring before last.
The last Spring, frost got them and they did not produce
very well. I have many pictures of the year before to remember,
so that will help again! Remembering is such fun, right?
The Sun is trying to come out now, and the temperature is
climbing slowly up from the 27 degree low it gave us this
morning. It snowed all night and afternoon yesterday.
Then this morning it snowed until around Ten A.M.
Hubby stayed home and Daughters all were safe with their
families, so I did not need to worry about that sort of thing.
We have become pretty good hermits when the roads get bad
anymore. No venturing out unless there is some Dire need,
and that seldom happens.
I often worry about what if someone would have to journey to
the Hospital or some such in Storms like these. Schools were
delayed this morning, but did not hear of many Cancellations.
Jodee and Tyler stayed home yesterday and had a "Snow Day".
It is nice to watch my Children raising their Children. It is good
to see the Happiness second hand that I remember first hand from
when my 3 Lovely Daughters were babies and young children.
Lacey and Scott were very very Happy to return homw to be with
Hunter. Soon they will be building Snowmen too!
Jesse and Todd will have to venture out to have a
Snowball fight and Sweep the Walks together.
This Spring will be a NEW Glory for me. I will again be able
to FEEL things that I had become Numb to and did not
even realize it.
My Health has become an issue, and I will do everything in
my power to regain my fitness level. I would say like when
I was young, but I am in better shape now than I ever was
way back then. I will take care of my Heart AND Mind.
I have taken an interest in my writing again. I want to follow
through on this now because I have been inspired and feel
the "need", the "lust", and the Passion to put down on paper
what goes around in my Head.
Whatever happens, it will be for the good of my Family and myself
that I take this journey, whether successful or not. I will be so
by just writing and feeling good about the process.
Yes, deep down inside I still question my talents. But, from what
I have been reading, even the most successful artists sometimes,
maybe all the time, have these feelings of Self Doubt.
I remember hearing that the only real failure is the failure to try.
That will become my Mantra.
I TRY!
At Last!
Spring is here in my HEART also!
Good luck my Dear Friends, until we meet again!
Take time to Hug youself today, you deserve it!
Katie
This year, as in others I am sure, Spring decided to arrive
in her winter coat!
She came in with Fur and Muff and High boots...like a Fancy Lady
all Decked out for a Winter Party.
She danced in and around and around and twirled and flounced
and bounded across the States of the Midwest like She owned them
(as you know, she does).
For 2 days now She has darted and weaved and blown from here
to there and back home again doing what Mother Nature and Spring
are so very good at doing.
She messed up and covered up and laid moisture where it was well
needed in a way that she has not done since the start of this
Winter last year.
Lucky for us, we planned on staying in just in case such a
thing happened.
Though we were only supposed to get a covering to about an inch,
the dear Mother decided to show those Weather Navens a thing or
two and to remind us that Computers can only give an estimated
track and arrival. They still miss once in a while....this too
is Mother Nature's Whim.
(Isn't she Grand? I am glad she can still fool us!)
St. Patrick's Day is just past and we had not had very much
accumulation of snow all winter. We have been lucky in this
area of the state in that we have gotten
more rain than snow.
I have to admit how pretty things are, and how nicely the
snow came down.
It was a pretty snow, a heavy snow, and a very wet moist snow.
The kind that makes sloppy wet snowmen and Snowsuits get
drenched in and Mittens won't stay dry in.
But, Oh what fun it can be if one does not have to
get out and travel in it!
This will also give us something to remember as Spring stops
teasing us and finally arrives. May She soon shed that Coat
and let us see her in all her Spring Glory!
The Robins are back and I bet they are going "What the?" right
about now.
The tulips are up about 2 inches, so Spring cannot be far behind.
We will have double again the tulips we had Spring before last.
The last Spring, frost got them and they did not produce
very well. I have many pictures of the year before to remember,
so that will help again! Remembering is such fun, right?
The Sun is trying to come out now, and the temperature is
climbing slowly up from the 27 degree low it gave us this
morning. It snowed all night and afternoon yesterday.
Then this morning it snowed until around Ten A.M.
Hubby stayed home and Daughters all were safe with their
families, so I did not need to worry about that sort of thing.
We have become pretty good hermits when the roads get bad
anymore. No venturing out unless there is some Dire need,
and that seldom happens.
I often worry about what if someone would have to journey to
the Hospital or some such in Storms like these. Schools were
delayed this morning, but did not hear of many Cancellations.
Jodee and Tyler stayed home yesterday and had a "Snow Day".
It is nice to watch my Children raising their Children. It is good
to see the Happiness second hand that I remember first hand from
when my 3 Lovely Daughters were babies and young children.
Lacey and Scott were very very Happy to return homw to be with
Hunter. Soon they will be building Snowmen too!
Jesse and Todd will have to venture out to have a
Snowball fight and Sweep the Walks together.
This Spring will be a NEW Glory for me. I will again be able
to FEEL things that I had become Numb to and did not
even realize it.
My Health has become an issue, and I will do everything in
my power to regain my fitness level. I would say like when
I was young, but I am in better shape now than I ever was
way back then. I will take care of my Heart AND Mind.
I have taken an interest in my writing again. I want to follow
through on this now because I have been inspired and feel
the "need", the "lust", and the Passion to put down on paper
what goes around in my Head.
Whatever happens, it will be for the good of my Family and myself
that I take this journey, whether successful or not. I will be so
by just writing and feeling good about the process.
Yes, deep down inside I still question my talents. But, from what
I have been reading, even the most successful artists sometimes,
maybe all the time, have these feelings of Self Doubt.
I remember hearing that the only real failure is the failure to try.
That will become my Mantra.
I TRY!
At Last!
Spring is here in my HEART also!
Good luck my Dear Friends, until we meet again!
Take time to Hug youself today, you deserve it!
Katie
Spring Rain (written March 26th of 2004)
I sit here wondering If Spring will ever come...and now finally I begin to see signs....the grass is greening, the Robins have returned....and at last the days are warming up....from 30 to 50 wahooo!
The flowers are struggling to break through the hardened winter ground, and succeeding at last to do so.
THe dogw will go outside and be willing to stay for awhile without barking and wanting back in....
I have hopes of no more snow this year...but past years have proven that we may have snow well into April.
I tried to deny the last Snowstorma nd that didn't stop it, just made me totally unprepared and lost while drivng in it. I made my destination safely but had some nerves to calm down afterwards.
Luckily it did not last very long this year. No blowing or closing of schools as in past winters.
Today is warm but foggy and it is raining. This is what makes flowers grow and Spring come and Winter go away......I think as I sit and find the positive slant on things....like the old song said, accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative...
I WILL the glass to be half full again, no more half emtpy.
See you next time My friends
The flowers are struggling to break through the hardened winter ground, and succeeding at last to do so.
THe dogw will go outside and be willing to stay for awhile without barking and wanting back in....
I have hopes of no more snow this year...but past years have proven that we may have snow well into April.
I tried to deny the last Snowstorma nd that didn't stop it, just made me totally unprepared and lost while drivng in it. I made my destination safely but had some nerves to calm down afterwards.
Luckily it did not last very long this year. No blowing or closing of schools as in past winters.
Today is warm but foggy and it is raining. This is what makes flowers grow and Spring come and Winter go away......I think as I sit and find the positive slant on things....like the old song said, accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative...
I WILL the glass to be half full again, no more half emtpy.
See you next time My friends
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